The Jamestown Alert could deliver a back handed complement with the best of them back in 1881.

About every month or so they ran a column called “We Surmise.” It was a chance for the editors of the Alert take a shot at whatever they thought deserved a little bit of criticism.

Like slow construction work.

“We surmise that the new elevator makes hast slowly,” the Alert wrote.

This was followed by “We surmise that the time is up for building the sidewalk along Fifth Avenue and it is some one’s business to attend to it.”

The editors may have given us an idea of what was delaying construction.

“We surmise that the Dakota House has two new dining room girls and that the boys go in the dining room more and stay later than of yore,” they wrote.

The editors practiced a little community promotion too.

“We surmise that there were three girl babies born this week and it wasn’t much of a week for babies either,” the editors commented. Along with, “We surmise that our school house isn’t large enough to accommodate the scholars.”

The community was small but growing at the time. The Will Elmer store, dealer in Drugs and Medicines, also sold Oil and Painting Stock.

Let’s hope they didn’t confuse their inventory.

And the Fields Jewelry Store advertised the finest quality violin strings.

The paper had a bit of criticism for the fall weather in 1881.

“We surmise that it is time to put ear laps on that straw hat,” they wrote.

But it was the citizens of Jamestown that drew the sharpest barbs.

“We surmise that the Order of the Knights of the Red Cross is not an anti-temperance society,” they wrote.

The Order of the Knights of the Red Cross was a Masonic order of the 1880s.

And that comment was mild compared to this more general statement about the young men of the community.

“We surmise that some of the young men are smoking opium,” the Alert commented.

Evidently drugs aren’t a new problem to the Jamestown area. And, like today, they weren’t the only problems facing the community.

“We surmise that Postmaster Kelley wants less swearing in the post office when there are ladies present,” the editors wrote.

But the biggest criticism, in the form of a very backhanded compliment, was aimed at the night life of Jamestown.

“We surmise that for the amount of bad whisky drank in Jamestown there is less fighting than one would expect,” commented the Alert pundits.

I think our community has improved in the 130 years since these comments. Or at least the quality of the whiskey has.